Be Safe or Take A Chance?

I have to make a decision by tomorrow that may or may not affect the rest of my life. Actually, by default it will affect the rest of my life, but it's importance has the potential to be life changing. I will change my day-to-day life for a minimum 3 months, but almost certainly longer by default.

The decision? To be safe or take a chance. ugh.

For one, my personality is not one to be asked a question like this. Ultimately, it's much more complicated than this; but if you step back you're asking me, really, if I should be adventurous or play-it-safe, as they say. I love adventure. I CRAVE adventure. Sure, I'm "Mommy Heather"--although I'm trying to break out of that name--and I always think about the consequences of my actions, but I still go for adventure most of the time, as long as it's not going to get my killed.

Now, in neither one of my options does death loom, so typical I would resort next to what I WANT to do. I want to travel. Go. Get the hell outta this stupid state--this stupid country--and go. Go until I can't go anymore. For me, that's to the tip of South America and back OR to the top of Scotland, depending on how things work out. But it isn't that simple. Why? First, I'm not going to let myself travel unless I have some kind of job lined up.

Herein lies the problem. I HAVE a job. It's not much, but it's guaranteed
$400 a month until August, experience in the field I want to pursue, and the opportunity to boost my resume and reel. The catch? I have to stay in Athens and gradate in August instead of May.

So now is decision time.

Option One: Take A Chance
-What does that look like?
Graduating in May. Not having a job over the summer. Moving out of my apartment in Athens and into my brothers. (Probably) Travelling either to Central/South America or Scotland/England/France for a month or longer. Having a job to come back to or at least being able to substitute teach everyday somewhere. Living with my bro when I get back. MAYBE doing Animation Mentor if I can't get anything with my reel. (Which is another $18,000 of loans, nearly doubling what I already have.)

Option Two: Play-it-safe
-What does that look like?
Keeping my job through July and probably getting another one. Taking the Intro to Action class to up my experience/confidence so I can get experience. Living in Athens with someone over the summer. Graduating in August. Hopefully having a job or at least being able to substitute teach everyday somewhere. Moving in with Clint in August unless I find a job somewhere else. MAYBE doing Animiation Mentor, but actually having some money to fall back on instead of none like I would if I go travelling.


So basically it comes down to travelling or not travelling. Having a financial safety net or not. I hate when it comes down to money. It makes me so angry. Not because I wish I had more, but because it just sucks that something so ridiculous holds people back from doing things. I really hate money. Like a lot.

I'll probably play it safe. I just can't bring myself to spend all that money without knowing if I'll have any income later. I wish I could be a live-in nanny somewhere. I wish I could do that for my aunt and uncle. They have the best kids, that would be awesome. Or even just down in Savannah so I could be near my cousins. *sigh* Maybe. Until then, it looks like I'm going to graduate in August. I should probably be more excited about it, but I'm not. I really wanna see more of the world.

I will see more of the world. Just not this year, apparently. Damn. I hate being safe.

*note: I have to leave now, so this has not been proof-read. Not that anyone will actually read it.*