Becoming Deaf

In the New American Standard version of the Bible, fellowship is mentioned 12 times throughout the old and new testament.  It speaks to fellowship with others and also with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit separately.  

We were created in the image of God [Genesis 1:27 - one of my favorite verses].  I believe that means not physically, but our soul, spirit, character, personality all are created by Him and from His own self.  And just as our Creator desires to have fellowship with us, He also desires that we have fellowship with each other.  He confirms this in Matthew 18:20 when He tells us that if two or more people gather in His name, He will be there with them.  That's fellowship. 

In my studies of ASL and the Deaf over the last year or so, I have become increasingly fond of their culture.  Yes, Deaf people (I must emphasize the capitalization of Deaf, it being different from deaf - meaning people who cannot hear.) have their own culture and their own set of social rules.  Because Deaf people use American Sign Language as their primary language, they get together often just to sit and chat in surprisingly large groups.  Because technology is improving it is becoming easier for them to talk via the internet with webcams and such, but what they have maintained is their willingness to get together in person and talk about nothing in particular.

I am becoming saddened at how AIM, Facebook, Myspace, texting, email, etc. has rid our society of the simple and joyous life of sending letters, talking on the phone, or even *gasp* seeing one another.  These days most of our conversations are had or begun via text.  While there are appropriate and even necessary times for text, is does not compare to the inflection that you hear in someone's voice via the phone or the gestures that you see when you talk to someone face to face.  

While I am aware that the Deaf culture calls for face-to-face interaction more strongly than our hearing culture, I believe that we should work harder to sit and talk to each other and re-learn the starkly beautiful art that is simple conversation.

Learning To Trust

Whew!  Last night was one heck of a night!  I learned a lot.  Like that most of the Georgia fans are only fans when the team is playing well.  Which isn't good because it's no fun to play when you don't have anyone believing in you.  I really don't think that I've ever prayed so hard for a game, which isn't really the greatest thing to pray for, but those boys needed something to lift them up and God was just the thing, so I prayed.  We didn't win but we played hard the second half and closed the game to an 11 point loss, not bad, I say.  GO DAWGS!

I'm kinda surprised at how I haven't really gotten lonely without facebook (even tho it's only been a few days).  I think I'm missing stalking people the most.  Like when you meet people and become their "friend" (per facebook standards) the next step, naturally, is to stalk them.  But this could be good because it will promote more legit conversation and I'm truly a sucker for good conversation.  So I guess this is kind of an experiment, and we'll just see how it goes.

I'm getting a lot better at slowing down, and at resting in the Lord.  I like it.  Although, I kinda feel like everyone else is on fast forward, and I can't decide if that's making me feel left out or.. well, something else that I can't seem to put into words - and I'm assuming it's that one, because I'm not great with words.  

I'm working on being neater and cleaner, more organized, focused, and chill.  I'm starting to see how this really can affect you spiritually.  I mean that literally, when you are calm, your spirit is calm.  Not still, because only the Lord, I think, can still your spirit - you should ask Him for that, it's quite, well, indescribable - but calm.  There is a lot to be said for being relaxed, having a clear mind, and I think that is completely affected by how you live, how neat and organized you are.  If your room and life in general is neat and organized it will organize your mind and you can think more clearly and you are less distracted by the mess that would otherwise clutter your mind and space around you.  Maybe that's just for me, it's very possible that there aren't many others who are this way. 

I am learning that there is much more to this world than meets the eye.  I am being taught this essentially by the Lord through many circumstances that I dare not go into because, honestly, text just can't do it justice and, again, I'm not so great with words.  

I believe that God is trying to teach me about trust.  Trusting Him.  It makes me chuckle a bit because a year ago I was in a completely different place, and trust was something I didn't even have toward myself.  Really, the only person who had my trust was God, and even He didn't have much of it.  When ever I hear the song Faithful To Me by Jennifer Knapp, it makes me think of that time in my life.  I remember being at a friend's place hearing that song and just breaking into sobbs because that is exactly how I felt at that time.  I had been completely broken by the Lord and by my circumstances.  Everything I thought was right was being torn apart and I didn't understand why.  Luckily the Lord is faithful through everything, even when we are not, and He healed me and made me so much stronger than I ever was before.  But back to trust.  I think the Lord is trying to teach me to trust Him, more than I do.  I'm not sure what, specifically He wants me to give to Him (more specific than 'everything'), but I trust that He will reveal that to me when it is time.  Oh that perfect timing of His.  

Well, I have much more to talk about, but I probably should keep some of it for just me and Him.  Also, I have quite a bit more work to do today so I am going to jump on that.  -Quickly- I heard from Keaton today.  They finally got all their luggage yesterday, Praise the Lord, and a woman gave her life to our Lord yesterday as well, more praise! Please keep him, and everyone he is down there with, in your prayers!  And let me know of any prayer requests you have! God Bless!

In Him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. - Proverbs 3:5

Now, read that again, like you've never read it before.  : )

A Better Mood

So today was the day.  I went to bed a little before midnight last night on my parent couch, well, I would call it "bed", it was more of a nap.  I got up at 2am.  Changed, brushed my teeth, and drove to the Keaton house.  After another stop we drove to the airport.  Brad came along, too.  

It was kind of unreal.  But not quite as difficult as I expected it to be.  I didn't even cry, which I was very shocked about.  It was a good thing, I think Keaton needed the strong support, it seems I'm good at being that for people.  For the first time in a while I didn't sacrifice my own emotional well being in order be that support, and this, I believe, is a good start to what will be a very good (nearly) three months.  

On the way back from the airport, Mrs. Keaton, Brad, and I talked while little Rachel slept curled up in the back seat.  It was a good talk about how important this time is going to be for everyone, how we're all going to learn and grow while Keaton is gone.  It's really exciting.  Maybe I didn't cry because he's really not leaving, his moving to another area of the world but he's still going to be with us.  Which, I must say, is significantly easier than a situation where someone stays in the same place physically but leaves you emotionally and, for lack of a better adverb, communicationally.  Just in general, tho.

I will admit that I'm getting a little anxious about hearing from him and the others that flew down with him.  I found it slightly humorous that Mrs. Keaton asked me to inform her if I hear from him, almost as though she thought he would contact me before her, which I doubt strongly. 

On a lighter note, I'm quite enjoying my time at home.  I'm sitting on my couch watching real TV, my favorite kind - crime shows.  Mom recorded and saved many of them for me so I'm just sitting here watching TV and - the best part - fast forwarding through all the commercials.  Later I might go into Loganville and eat dinner with Nicole and after that I'll go visit with my children.  I've never been so happy and chill to be in Loganville.  Oh! And this morning I sat in the Chick-fil-A that I worked in and talked to Brad for a good hour - I think that's going to work out nicely.  Ha! Won't Keaton get a kick outta that - we've known each other for 10 years and have never actually had a legitimate friendship.  And next weekend I'll be thrilled to be in Loganville.  Me, Kimmy, chick flicks, scrapbooking, late night trips to taco bell (partly because that's the only place in Loganville open that late, and partly because it's tradition) - honestly, that's the life!.... Well, at least for a weekend.  : )

Oh! And I'm almost healed.  AND I got good rest last night.  Yay for answers to prayer!

I leave you with a most common verse, but I got a new look at it - or maybe just another look - at Wesley last night. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.    Romans 8:28

And as Bob worded it last night: God isn't going to allow anything to happen that He can't use for good, and also that won't glorify Him.  I truly believe that this is the best promise that the Lord has made to us.  It includes all things, everything, nothing is skipped.  That's awesome! 

Chivalry

I had initially intended to start this blog with reasoning why it's finding-rest etc, etc, but at this moment I really need to vent.

Probably a year or so ago I joined a facebook group that was something along the lines of the SEC being the best conference in the nation (which it is). The main picture for that group is a model in the tiniest bathing suit her photographer could find for her.. and it was an Alabama suit. Basically it disgusted me and I thought, not only that should should put some clothes on, but also that maybe we could change the main picture..? Apparently I made a comment about this and have since then left said group for one with a little more class, or at least a picture more respectful of women.

Well, I woke up this morning and checked facebook and I had two new messages. One was from a Michael W. entitled S.E.C. group. I immediately assumed that it was my friend Michael Warren and was confused as to why he was writing me, but carried on. Once I realized how rude this person was being I looked a little more closely at the last name and picture and saw that this was, in fact, not my friend but some stranger chewing me out. I'm not going to put the ridiculously long message he sent up here, but it was amazingly rude! And through all the catty messages I have gotten over the years (and I've gotten my fair share) I have never received anything so rude and just... RUDE from anyone in my life. 

He basically attacked everything about me (information which he required from the few sentences I wrote in the group and my profile picture) and then backed it up with.. "my girlfriend is standing right here and agrees with me". Honestly, I hope that soon that girl realizes that she can do much better, because no matter who she is, I'm sure that she can. I hate to be so judgmental, but if you read this then you would too, I'm sure. 

I guess I'm just angry because, in the little fantasy world I lock myself into, guys like that stay on the outside. Sometimes guys say to me "chivalry isn't dead".. but it's times like this when I doubt it. 

On another note, God is still good. And hopefully this guy will be convicted for his words. And hopefully he'll, one day soon, start respecting the girls he's around. 

... And back to being positive, at least I'm (mostly) surrounded by respectful guys who care about what they say/do in a woman's presence, and even out. I really don't think you guys receive enough appreciation for that! 

That's what I've got for today. Maybe next time it'll be more peaceful.