Yeah. It's THAT time.

May two thousand ten will be here in three short days. Three days until I begin the most eventful, stressful, change-filled month of my life. For the past seventeen years I have been a student. Every. Single. Day. After May 3rd, everything I learn will be for pleasure. For pure enjoyment and the betterment of my life. Yes, that is very exciting. But what other events make this next month the most anticipated and feared month of my life to date?

I am finishing my degree. What a feat. I will be Heather Anne Byrd, B.A. HAHA! What a sight to see! I will be a certified badass. Yep, I earned that title for sure.

I am moving to a new apartment. For the first time in my life, my rent, utilities, food, and gas will all be paid for with money that I earned.

I am beginning a job. Yes, thankfully I will have a job to pay all of those bills with. I will be a working, bill-paying "adult." I'll never be an adult, but I'm good with responsibilities. I guess that's the qualification.

Those are all mostly good things with only a few cons. The most feared part of the month is still ahead.

On May 24th I will be turning 22 years old. My whole life I have seen this number and believed that this is the age when other adults--people with jobs, bills, children, spouses, mortgages, etc--finally begin accepting a person as one of their own. By 22 most of us have graduated college, moved out of their parent's house (for good), and accepted a job of some kind. Younger me thought those were all the qualifications necessary to be inducted into the Adult Club. (A club, I must say, I don't really want to be inducted into.) However, with 22 just around the corner, I have changed my mind. I think this number is 30. I hate to do that, because 30 is the dreaded number of anyone in their 20s. And, honestly, what's worse than turning thirty AND being told you're not a certified adult. But 25 is too close for me to put the bar there. Maybe 27? Maybe 72? I like 72. :)

Finally, the worst of the month will be upon me after my birthday. The move. No, not my move. I'm rather looking forward moving into my new place and making it homey... and maybe a tad girly. *gasp*
No, the move I am dreading most is the en mass move of all my closest friends:

Kelley Ann Moore. My best friend, roommate, confidant, and fellow SVU-watcher is moving to Washington DC to begin the next stage of her life of service as a math teacher. I can't even talk about how much I'm going to miss her. She is truly irreplaceable.

Billy Graham. My longest-standing guy friend to date. He should get an award for simply putting up with me for the past three years. No one else lasted that long. He has had a true impact on my life in many respects. Most valuable to me, he has pushed me to become a better, more compassionate person. He's not sat me down and talked to me about how I don't love people enough--nothing like that. He's just loved. He's really a compassionate guy. Don't tell him I told you, though. He might get mad. I think it's supposed to be a secret. Anyway, Billy is moving back from Hong Kong and over to Atlanta. Sure, it's not far. But he's moving into adult-hood much faster than I am. So even though Atlanta is just an hour and a half away, Billy will be farther because he'll be busy like real adults. Poor guy.

John Otwell. I've only known John about a year or so. And, really, we've just been good friends for a few months. But in those few months we have had some fantastic conversations. We enjoy challenging each other's thoughts on important--and no-so-important--life topics. And we enjoy being challenged by each other. He is moving to Indiana to care for and love on people up there for a year. I can't really get mad at him for doing something awesome like that. I'm just mad that he's moving. Punk.

Well, I feel better now that I've said all that.

Somewhat Topical

Disaster's in the air.

New Relevant Bumper Sticker

Things change.

Friends leave.

And life doesn't stop for anybody.



I would like life to stop for a while. I would like for my friends to stop leaving. I would like to be able to handle changes without the fear that I'm living in right now. I'd like just one more constant, please.

Define Selfish

Why is it that the thought of disappointing or displeasing my friend has me twisted up in a knot, but it's so easy for me to do something I know is displeasing to My Savior. Not everything, sure, but if I want something bad enough then I can justify my desire even when I know God doesn't want it. Right now, I want to do something, but I know that doing it will be potentially displeasing, disappointing or even just annoying to my friend and that, alone, has me not even wanting it. As though the thought of disappointing this person gives me a discomfort that overpowers my original desire.

Does that make me selfless or an idolator?