Learning To Breathe In

It's funny.

I was taking this time away from facebook and such in order to slow life down and spend more time in prayer and seeking my Father. To relax, truly was my purpose. If you were to ask anyone what the first step to relaxation they would probably tell you to take a deep breath. Why a deep breath and not just a breath? Well, that's scientific stuff that proves that the slower and more focused your breath the slower your heartbeat and lower your blood-pressure. (There is also a link between a increase in laughter and a decrease in blood pressure - but that's just a side note). They have even made yoga and pilates which are exercise programs that focus on your breathing while exercising. Breathing is important. Duh.

Sunday morning I was sitting in the common area at church dealing with the awkward social conversations that result when you have children trying to have adult-like conversations with semi-adults and these same semi-adults trying to have more adult-like conversations with each other. It's certainly interesting. Then I hear a secular (but not inappropriate) hip hop song coming out of the speakers and everyone starts dancing goofily. Then after a few song changes and Christian rap band goes on and I asked who it was (because I know every song on the Lecrae CD's I have but this song wasn't familiar). The girl says 116... Lecrae. I got really excited because I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christian Rap music. It's like country music for Christians (it makes sense... just ask). And the girl hands me a CD and says "here. I made an extra, you can have it". I got super excited and played it all the way home.. There are really only two songs I listen to on it: Fanatic and Breathe In, Breath Out. They are both really great songs, but sitting here thinking about and listening to the words in Breathe In, Breathe Out... it really hit me. Here, let me show you the words of the chorus and then I will show you what I got out of it and what the Lord has been trying to show me the past week or so.

Breathe In

Take It in slow, let It work up in your soul

Take your time and let It grow before you blow

Breath Out

Let 'em know what you about from the words in your mouth

To the way you live It out no doubt.

It goes through the verses to talk about how he used to be so focused on breathing out - on showing everyone about Christ that he wasn't taking the time to be in the Word and learn from the God he was trying to preach about. And it made telling things to others so hard because he wasn't seeking Him.

I think this is what the Lord has been trying to tell me. I go, go, go all day and week and month and I'm either at home, school, or church. I'm ALWAYS at church. And by the time I get home I want to read something else, something that's not the Word. So I read other books, Christian books, but not the Bible. And I'm too tired or unfocused or whatever other excuse I can come up with to go sit on the porch and just be with God. I'm so busy going and giving - so busy breathing out and with no desire to breathe in that I'm not really doing any work anyway. And while I know God doesn't want me to stop going and giving, I hear Him calling me to spend time with Him one-on-one so He can equip me to do what I'm already doing, but with His help.

It's so weird. Usually I"ll go from a period of going and doing and thinking and praying for others that I forget to take care of and pray for myself, to the other extreme of going and doing and thinking and praying for myself and abandoning others. And now I've found an unhappy medium of going and doing for others but only thinking and praying about myself... geez. It's ok. One day I'll get it right, with my Father's help.

I'm out guys.

"Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see."

Hebrews 11:1